Where Have I Been All My Life is a memoir about your journey of self-discovery and transformation. What were some ideas that were important for you to share in this book?

I felt compelled to explore many universal themes and ideas as I wrote this book. Through my journey of self-discovery I encountered many life lessons including learning to take responsibility, releasing the need to be liked by everyone, the power in forgiveness, how to conquer my fears and true acceptance of self. I wasted decades existing instead of living. One of the most important things I wanted to highlight in my memoir was the behaviour no-one should tolerate. I want my readers to feel empowered and able to clearly identify toxic and unhealthy relationships. I want to show others there is always a way to escape feeling stuck, without feeling guilt or shame. It felt important to provide hope for the future as well as a way forward for those experiencing trauma or anxiety as a result of life’s experiences and conditioning. Being close to fifty with no children, I also felt strongly about being a role model for a not-so-conventional life. I want to show young women an alternate path, so they don’t feel the need to live up to outdated expectations such as being married or having children by a particular age (or ever). I would love my book to be a source of comfort to empower my readers to live an authentic and purposeful life. 

I appreciated the candid nature with which you told your story. What was the hardest thing for you to write about?

The hardest thing for me to write about was my greatest shame. For years I was paralysed with fear that others would learn about my secrets and judge me harshly. In my book, I openly share deeply painful, personal experiences I never intended to disclose. Perfectionists always want to portray an image of themselves they think will be accepted by others, but by being transparent and showing the beautiful and ugly parts of me, is what I believe, makes ‘Where Have I Been All My Life?’ relatable. It’s rare for a perfectionist to share her greatest shames and mistakes so publicly, which allows my readers to connect deeply with my story. I am vulnerable on purpose because it gives permission to others to own their truth and uncover their unique voice with confidence. 

What is one piece of advice you wish someone had given you when you were younger?

I wish someone would have told me to take notice of my heart’s desires rather than others people’s expectations of me. I was brought up in an era of people pleasers. My dreams and aspirations always came second to what I felt I ’should’ do and what I thought would be more acceptable by my parents, teachers, and society. The more I learn, the more I grow. I now have the power to change my behaviour and subsequently get closer to my authentic soul. It’s taken me decades to find my voice and I am now practising speaking my truth instead of saying what I think people want to hear. 

What is one thing you hope readers take away from your story?

I would be beyond ecstatic if my readers took away the realisation they are not alone. I hope to highlight our humanness and how we all make mistakes, we all experience suffering and we all face obstacles. I wasted a lot of energy trying to make it appear as though I had it ‘all together,’ but I’ve learnt this energy is better served helping others rather than being competitive. My story is an ordinary one, not an extraordinary one. A universal story of self-love and connectedness with the intention of helping us all feel less alone.

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Original source: https://literarytitan.com/2023/05/10/my-journey-of-self-discovery/